I wrote this a while ago after getting an annoying random message on myspace or some site. So, ahem...
Truth: That's just in comparison to guys, so when you spend all day hanging out with your smelly guy friends, anything that isn't too smelly will smell good to you.
Myth: 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
Truth: The "right spot?" There's no wrong spot! This is stupid.
Myth: 3. How cute they look when they sleep
Truth: Untrue. When I watch a girl I can tell she's plotting...planning something against me.
Myth: 4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
Truth: Not all girls.
Myth: 5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
Truth: Like murder, hunger and disease?
Myth: 6. How cute they are when they eat
Truth: I've never seen a girl actually eat...I'm pretty sure they don't.
Myth: 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
Truth: Bullshit! Even hours of waiting for a rollercoaster are never worthwhile, definitely not seeing your girlfriend in some clothes you won't even notice.
Myth: 8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
Truth: Not their feet! They wake you up periodically during the night with their minus-30 feet.
Myth: 9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
Truth: ...no, no that's definitely not true.
Myth: 10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful thing on this earth
Truth: Even if for some strange reason you DO think that....she'll never believe you. And she hates you for not thinking that.
Myth: 11. How cute they are when they argue
Truth: Untrue. They often stab you.
Myth: 12. The way her hand always finds yours
Truth: Only to pull it out of your pants.
Myth: 13. The way they smile
Truth: The smiles are mostly fake. Or malicious.
Myth: 14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
Truth: Until you listen to the voicemail full of death theats and insults about your penis.
Myth: 15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
Truth: I'm not sure what guy likes girls for that.
Myth: 16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
Truth: Except that the thing you did for them is worth way more than a kiss
Myth: 17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you’
Truth: They are just hoping for a ring at that point.
Myth: 18. Actually … just the way they kiss you…
Truth: No guy actually likes kissing. They only do it to appease the girl.
Myth: 19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
Truth: Which smears your clothes with make-up, tears, and snot. You know how everybody loves having snot rubbed on them.
Myth: 20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
Truth: Which, of course, is better than just not snotting all over you over something silly in the first place?
Myth: 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
Truth: Completely wrong. They think it DOESN'T hurt, while in actuality they always hit you with their razor-sharp knuckles right on the bone, often causing death.
Myth: 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don’t admit it)!
Truth: We don't admit it, we just cry. I definitely don't love girls for hitting me.
Myth: 23. The way they say “I miss you”
Truth: I'm a bit confused at this one actually. How exactly do they say it? Seductively? Do they sing it with a catchy tune?
Myth: 24. The way you miss them
Truth: Guys don't miss girls. Once again, we only say that to appease them.
Myth: 25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…..
Truth: Naw, if i was gonna change the world I wouldn't waste it on that, I'd probably add superheroes instead.
